I Dance with the Dragon

08/11/24

I thought, last Novemeber, (2024) that I would collect poems I’d written and publish a book that Christmas. The book would serve those living with chronic illness.

Silly me.

The project enfolded into an expedition. I needed a submarine: the faith that as far down as I would go, there also is Christ with me.

It became clear that tackling the issue of chronic illness was inexorably tied to my story, my trauma, and my divided self. The collection, I intuited, had to fold in dialogue with my mental illness and gently untangle the corollaries and causes of traumatic stress. Accordingly, the collection reached tendrils into my childhood on the mission field, my falling in love in very unbalanced relationships, and my pathological tendency to codependence. Poems plied the misapprehensions of Christian responsibility that viscerally compelled me as a child, but which I could not articulate. The topic of chronic illness was the seed of the collection, but from the seed the poems ventured into widely through facets of being human.

I offer to you the results: I Dance with the Dragon.

I hope, through this collection, to offer compassionate language and validation to those struggling with chronic illness and mental illness. I hope that the poems have sounded out the concept of trauma’s affect on the body in a way that gives people a path into reconciliation with self. I hope that the faith and prayer shot through the collection prompts readers into trusting that God is not afraid of the depth of us.

Readers so far have found it impactful, even strongly so. My friend Esther wrote in observation:

“You weave your honest experiences with brutally blunt descriptions of pain and suffering you have endured while not prompting pity from readers, but somehow you invite the reader to embrace empathy for your experiences and for those reading to remember to embody grace and self care as the most important way to live life.”

The work succeeds if it compels the reader toward self-compassion. I am very encouraged so far by reader’s responses, including responses from editors and from the artist responsible for the cover art, Aleksandra Dimitrijević.