Not in the Running but in the Waiting

The following is an affirmation I felt that I heard from God whilst I weathered a wave of depression and felt futility: 

 

You have a place in my family and it’sa place you occupy by faith and contentment and patience and play [as opposed to anxious effort]. Your efficacy in this organism stems from your child-spirit trust and not from the things you do in the insecure, hasty attempt to be useful.

 

If you stand and wait, and let those fears rush past you and wash out from you (this is faith) – if you stand and listen in that radical stillness, that stand-fast surrender stillness,

 

If you let the fearful ambitions of men course beyond you – the ambition that has raised and ruined every empire hitherto known and forgotten, but which they all depended on for worth

 

If you lett the restless, impulse fire burn past you, stand in the quiet aftermath – in the quiet you did not think you were allowed to enjoy

 

There you hear that I call you: “enough,” and call you: “delight of my heart.” You will find this verdict endowed to you without your having needed to strive for it. Indeed it is my initiative and my absolute delight to present it to you, a suit of armour and a crown. You will find that the things that would have disqualified you from my affection and inclusion have all be definitively dealt with – and this too, while my pain and cross, was also my delight to accomplish

 

And my affirmation will be be enough for you, even should the earth gives way around you. I love you.

 

Not in the running but in the waiting, you have have found the treasure of life. The treasure is that I treasure you.

 

You have a new engine fire, white like the heart of lightning but patient and enduring. When you step forward now it is with the security of my affirmation and as such your stride is distinct from your previous cadence when you stumbled rapidly on in the assumption of scarcity. Scarcity of many things including your worth.

 

Be still at last , be still! Everything -all that I have is yours – I have given you my very self; what would I withhold from you?

 

You escape the anemic worth-schemas and value hierarchies that fuel the hustle and war of those that do not not truly know that they are loved.

 

Not in the running but in the waiting, you have found your purpose and your worth, and you have found that it is a gift. “Enough.” You are are “enough” for me to treasure, you, child, delight of my heart.